he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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