im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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