Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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