how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You ate ashes out of my bong
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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