check it out our google latitudes are spooning
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
A+ Viking dick
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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