If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
