It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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