Someone shit on the floor
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
