He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
so much tequila, so little girl.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
