I'm so fucking centered right now
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
