You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
