You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
