doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
