I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
