who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Welp...herpes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
