Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
