Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
