I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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