The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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