Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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