Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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