sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
