She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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