YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
