Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
