i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
