So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
