If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
