He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
