She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
