Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
