He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
