Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
