Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
