Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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