half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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