when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
