I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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