Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
