I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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