Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
