Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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