Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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