considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
