i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
