just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
