doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
