YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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