I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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