Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
